Great Night

Ever decide to do something, not really knowing what it was you were signing up for, only trusting that it felt like the right thing? There have been many of those moments in my life - times when a friend suggested I go somewhere, or try something new. Or times I noticed the signs and followed them. And trust me, I am not a person who normally does anything without careful thought and planning - but there are times when it just feels like the absolute right thing and the head is not involved. I guess it's what you call that "gut feeling". Mine has never steered me wrong. Ever. Not once. How cool is that? I think it is very cool.

So recently a friend I have known for a long time but not really seen much the last few years, reached out and asked me if I wanted to come to this group she was starting up. And it felt like the right thing to do, so I said yes. And I am so glad that I did! For one thing, it is nice to be connecting with her again, along with another woman I haven't seen in a few years and really like. And there were new people there and yeah, I just see it working. I have learned not to question what feels right and just trust.

So tonight I sat with this group of people and we talked about spirituality. And we all shared and we all listened and I came away just feeling really good and connected and, most importantly, that I am doing something good for my spiritual health. Because it's so easy to be all spiritual and mindful when the bottom drops out and things fall apart. Oh yeah, then I am all mindful and doing the work. Then a couple years ago, I decided that maybe it made sense to not become complacent and let those spiritually nurturing things fall away until I "needed" them again. That maybe, just maybe if I paid attention and kept working at it when things are going well, well, perhaps I would not get struck down with the spiritual sledgehammer again.

I've been looking back over my spiritual journey lately - there is so much I have not thought about before now. It's amazing. I remember the exact moment that the door opened for me. I was 28, mother to an infant, and my life was falling apart. The details are best told another time, but I know without a doubt who it was that showed me to that door. Mere weeks after my daughter was born, my cousin took her own life. We were only 4 months apart in age and growing up, I had adored her. We were like sisters. In spite of the many, many rifts in our family, we had managed to stay close. But, shit happened, and she and her siblings had severed ties with my side of the family, once again. Anyway, I had no idea what had been going on, until it was too late. A few months after that, I went to this womens weekend retreat. I was petrified, the only reason I went was because my therapist was one of the facilitators and she really thought it would be good for me. Well, let me tell you, the door flew open to me that weekend. I heard, saw and experienced things I never knew existed. Meditation. Crystals. Tarot cards. A safe, nurturing space. I left there and I knew I wanted more. And, I never looked back. Shortly after that weekend, I was meditating, and I received a message from my cousin. She was the one who had led me to this open door. Her message was simple. Don't end up like me. Please. 20 years have passed and here I am. So grateful for everything in my life, good and bad. So grateful that I know I have not only been guided, but that I also trusted that "gut feeling" to know I was being led in the right direction.

Tonight has been a full circle for me. I'm sitting back and kind of feeling "wow". I like my life. I embrace it. Because 30 years ago - if someone could have shown me the life I have today - I would not have thought it possible.

So, to answer tonight's question: "Do you think spirituality is important? Why or why not". You bet I do! See above :o)