Sunday, November 11, 2007


I promise I will post this week and there will be knitting and yarn involved. Got alot of knitting done this weekend. Started the second sock in Peace Fleece and am just about finished with the first Endpaper Mitt. Pics later this week. Worked on the sweater as well, that is coming right along. Had some great quality cuddle time with Zuni today. I think she felt bad about what she did yesterday. She's been doing pretty good with the whole knitting thing, but I do acknowledge that it must be very tempting for a little kitty girl to have all this yarn dangling about her. So yesterday morning she insisted on being in my lap while I was working on the Mitts - they are 2 stranded knitting - and without my even being aware of it, she managed to chew through one of the strands. I 'm knitting along and all of a sudden I have an end...hmmmmm... No great harm done though.

Did a ton of cooking this weekend. Chili. Pot Roast and Garlic Mashed taters. Chicken Soup. Oh, and my neighbor brought me some rice and beans that her hubby made. Yum. I like going into the week knowing I have plenty of food in the house and won't have to cook when I get home from work.

I'm looking for some music suggestions. I need some new selections to load on the iPod for work. So either post those ideas here, or e-mail me (racingspirit at comcast dot net).

Who is your favorite artist? Name 2 of their songs.
Know any good rockin' out sure to get you motivated songs?
Or any good meditation music?
Ever buy music on iTunes? I am thinking of trying it...

I'm listening to some music that I heard today at Yoga. It's called SoulFood. Check it out. I haven't been to yoga in a while. Well, really to the gym period. I went 4 times this week, counting today, plus a 5th workout at PT. Today I went to yoga really looking forward to that quiet, gentle space. Teacher was in the "we're going to do vigorous yoga today" mode. I almost packed it up. But, I decided to just go with it. Lot's of resistance in the beginning. I'm out of shape, I've gained some weight, that makes it harder. But I went with it anyway. And about 20 minutes into it, I just thought, ok, I am just going to give myself over to this yoga. It will be what it will be. I did what I could and honored my physical boundaries. And it was great!

Rusty is doing good - thanks to everyone who has asked this week, it means alot. We're going to see the vet later this week and I will keep y'all posted. For now, time for sleep!!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Mondays suck...

Rusty had another seizure today. His third one since July. He will see the vet next week. I am very scared. The last time I took a doggie to the vet thinking everything was fine, she didn't come home with me. I just can't go through that again. And, I have no reason to think it's anything bad, but you know, the mind tends to latch on to what it knows and I have been a mess today. So much so that I have practiced mindfulness mediation at every red light today and I am listening to calming/healing music. Rusty is fine. He met me at the door tail a-waggin' and
full of energy.

I am soooooo tired of not mastering this whole money thing. I wish I could stick with it and figure out where the blocks are. I resent that I work hard all week and yet live from paycheck to paycheck. And I shouldn't really complain, I am so much better off than many in this world.

Zuni is getting big. She is going to be an awesome cat. If she survives kittenhood. Just kidding. Yes, she has her wild moments but she really is a love. She loves to snuggle, and best of all, she doesn't wake me up in the middle of the night.

New TV shows I am watching - Journeyman. Life. Private Practice. Big Shots. Moonlight.

Old TV shows I still watch - ER. Grays Anatomy. Brothers and Sisters. Desperate Housewives
(only because Dana Delaney is on it this year). Men In Trees. Las Vegas. House. Rescue Me
(wasn't the season finale disappointing?). The Office.

I miss singing. Alot.

I'm not the same person I was a year ago. Thank god!!

I find that there are people in my life who are falling away because of that. Not tons, but a couple. I know there is one person in particular, who I love dearly. I don't think they read this blog. Anyway, I used to be the kind of person who would drop anything and everything, for a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g a friend might need. Anything. At a moment's notice. I'm not that way anymore. I think of myself now. So the other day, someone called who needed some computer help. And you know, I already had promised myself a weekend free of any obligations. So I left this person a message and said I would be happy to help them, but it would have to wait til Monday. And I asked them to email some info so I could do some research and see if it was even something I could fix. I heard nothing back. And, as I have learned so well from the Four Agreements - I am not taking this personally.

Life really is good. This is just the Fall Funk™. Kinda. And not totally. I'm feeling a little bit stuck.

I want to go crawl into a bear hole for a couple of months and hibernate. Walk, sleep, bathe,
eat, knit. That's it. Have someone deliver the groceries, take a (paid) sabbatical from
working, not have to take care of any of the details of life. Dream on.

Let's see...positive...hmmm...yeah, you know, sometimes a girl just needs to bitch...

Ya know, I wanted to change my little up countdown thing at the top there...and when I clicked on it and went to it is offering me is trying to conceive and ovulation tickers...ummmmmm...what kind of a message is this?? And truthfully - if you are trying to conceive, do you really need to annouce this to the world on your blog?

Thursday, November 1, 2007

It's that time again...

Dear Cymbalta - Depression doesn't hurt. It sucks. kthksbye.

Yes folks, it's that time of the year when the official Fall Funk ™ is upon me. It kind of caught me by surprise this year as I was feeling really really good so far this October. Yes, there are fewer hours of daylight. Yes, I have been tired. I just chalked it up to staying up late for baseball games. But then the last couple days there was the not really wanting to be around people thing. And the not really wanting to go to work thing. Oh yeah, and the not wanting to clean the apartment thing. Pretty much just not wanting to do anything and feeling pretty damn irritated about it that I did! That's what got my attention. The irritability (read - bitchiness) I was feeling pretty much non-stop. Oh, except when I was too tired to be bitchy. And being impatient. I suppose it is a good thing to be aware of it though. Normally I am not aware of it until sometime in February, at which point most people in my life want to be rid of me. At least until I can get enough sunshine to make me human again. So I guess it's time to bite the bullet and look into getting one of them there SAD lights.

It's really a startling contrast for me to be feeling like this. Life is good. But the last few weeks it's take alot more effort to get myself to do things and to go places. So this morning I made a list of all the things that need to be done around the house, both large and small, and I will aim to cross one thing off that list every couple of days. I'll also go back to the gym tonight no matter how tired I am feeling. Because the exercise thing really does help with the whole energy thing.

Imagine my delight this morning when I received an e-mail letting me know that if I purchased a certain product my "penis will make more shadow than a tree."