Dear Greys Anatomy,
We came very close to breaking up last night. I was ready to walk away. As we sat there last night and you once again let me down after promising me so much more, I was actually composing a break up letter to you. I mean, I felt so cheap and so used. Once again you had reeled me in, and once again you just weren’t delivering. That whole come here – no go away thing, you know, it just doesn’t work for me.
In the beginning I felt like we belonged together. You brought out the best in me and I gave you my all. I know they say long distance relationships are hard, and perhaps that is what has caused us to drift apart. I mean, we barely saw each other over the summer…and I supposed I should have seen it then. Everything seemed so – been there, done that, you know?
And then boom – you walked back into my life 3 weeks ago. The anticipation of our being together again left me excited and I felt alive again. And then, there you were, looking as good as you ever had. But it didn’t take long for me to feel as though something just wasn’t right. We weren’t “clicking” like we used to. You seemed nervous and irritable and, well, just not yourself. I wondered if something happened while we were apart…did you have a summer fling with a new writer or something? When you left I felt oddly disappointed.
So I spent the next week searching my soul, wondering if it was something I did, wondering if perhaps I had set my expectations a little too high. I finally decided that, well, everyone has their off nights, and that it was bound to happen. And we touched base during the week and it seemed like you were your old self again. You were such a tease! I thought there was a chance that last Thursday would be right up there as one of the best nights ever. You practically promised!! But no. Once again, you were moody, and unpredictable, and – yes, I hate to say it – whiny. And so we said a rather cool goodnight last week. I think you sensed something was up, because you really turned on the charm. And you kept it up all week long – flashing me a preview when I wasn’t expecting it and leaving me all flustered. But still, something just wasn’t feeling right. It felt like we had lost the magic.
I know we both agreed to having this open relationship – you know I’m seeing others and I know you are too. And that seems to have worked out well, because well, I thought we really went out of our way to make each other feel more special than all the others. We have our “date night” every Thursday at 9pm and I have never rescheduled it. And I’ve had offers. In fact, I didn’t want to tell you this, but The Office has been trying to win me over and grab “our” spot. They are starting to feel a little put out that I’m always there for you, and they get recorded and I see them when I can squeeze them in. And, I was tempted. Yesterday afternoon I was seriously thinking of teaching you a lesson and recording you instead. I wanted to send you the message that you can be replaced. I didn’t follow through though. You started in with the being all nice and flirty and I just couldn’t do it. So when 9:00 came around, I showed up. And, it didn’t take me long to start to have my doubts. I found myself wondering what Jim and Pam were up to instead of listening to you whine some more. Oh, there were a couple of moments there that showed the promise of old times, but it was just too little, too late.
Halfway through our date I had decided that this was it, I was done. And at the very last possible moment, there you were. My heart skipped a beat. You had saved the best for last. Those words are still echoing in my head today. “I slept with Izzy.” There is was. THAT is what had been missing all this time. The magic returned. You had to leave shortly after that, but you did leave me quite a few promises of what is to come that have me pretty worked up. But, when the afterglow of our time together faded, the doubts were back. You’ve been making these promises all along. But then you leave me cold. What do I do?
So after thinking it over, I have decided that the only way we can continue on together is for you to keep this one promise. The girl fight. It needs to happen next week. Callie and Izzy. Bring it baby. If you can’t, then go ahead and find someone else to tease. I’m done. Yeah, ultimatums suck, but I don’t think I am being unreasonable. And don’t bother pulling the McDreamy card on me, you know that doesn’t work.