Thursday, January 24, 2008

Decisions, Decisions...

The first one is easy, but I need your help. Over on the right there is a poll to help me decide on which e-mail I want to use as my new main e-mail address. racingspirit is ready to be retired for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I'm not as into Nascar as I was when I chose the account, and secondly, the account resides on someone else's comcast account, and I would prefer to have it reside on my own account. I think I know which one I want...and maybe there will be a prize offered to a random responder!

The second decision is not so easy. Tonight when I was walking Rusty down the road, I heard some loud yelling and swearing. I wasn't wearing my glasses, so it took me a minute to locate the source. Now this past summer, I mentioned the crack house across the street. Well, karma is a beautiful thing and the person I suspected was selling drugs over there has been in jail since late summer on a burglary charge. So all has been quiet. And the tenement on the corner? It would seem all the screamers moved out recently. So like I said, things have been very quiet here. But back to the yelling. I saw the guy who lives a few doors down from me hanging out his front door smoking and yelling and screaming back in at his family. He went back inside, only to come tearing back out, flinging the screen door open very wide so it hit the side of the house, slamming the inside door violently and screaming at the top of his lungs "I have to ing do everying thing around here you ing bitch. Now, ok, that's bad enough that he is spewing such venom out into the street. But then the next words out of his mouth were "I'll kill you all, I swear I will." And I felt this cold block of ice in my middle. I could not believe that a person would actually say that. About their family. He saw me and he looked away. I kept walking and I very calmly said "You know you don't mean that." He never said a word. Finished his smoke and went inside. So what do I do with that? Do I think the guy would actually harm his family? No. Not really. He is volatile and I have heard him go off at his teenage sons and his wife. He's not a very nice guy, nor is he a very happy guy. And the thing is, they live in the best house in the neighborhood. Nice white, middle-income, model family to all outward appearances. But now I get to live with the knowledge that I heard those words come out of his mouth. What if? I hope not. I tend to think it's the ones you never suspect would that actually do. And then I think, who would I tell anyway?

As much as I love my apartment, I am hoping that at this time next year I will be in a position to move back out to the country, or at least the 'burbs.

8 comments:

Lora said...

YIKES!! That's a scarey thing to hear!! How bad does life have to be for one to say that?? Sounds like he needs some help.

yarnophiliac said...

Yeah, I came from one of those "everything looks so nice from the outside homes." My advice would be to quietly extend a hand to the mom. When he isn't around, just pop over and say you saw what you saw and if she needs any help, you'll help her get it. Sometimes, just knowing that someone saw what you deal with and said, "hey, that isn't right" helps someone get on the path to escaping. Abusers are so very good at making you think you are the problem, that you don't deserve any better than you are getting. And then, all you can do is go home and pray for her and the kids. SUCKS.

yarnophiliac said...

oh! btw -- I'm partial to Yarnslinger, but if you want a multi-purpose e-mail mrileynh ,makes sense.

Sonya said...

We live in a world where people just watch from the sidelines because of fear for their own safety. It can be a hard thing to just watch. You took the first step by just letting the man know that he is putting his life out for all to see. A neighborly "hello, nice day, damn snow" could be enough to remind him.

But please be careful!

Jackie said...

Geez what an a-hole! It's never those guys who actually kill their family, it's always the one neighbor who always minds their own business and you never hear a word from that turn out to be serial killers.

I voted for yarnslinger.

Julie said...

I agree with Heather; just letting the mom you know and care can make a big difference. But, like Sonya says, please be careful!

Sarah said...

"Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl"

Hopefully the guy has enough self respect that he is embarrassed by being overheard by you, and maybe he will be on his best behavior now.

SleepyEyes said...

Sometimes you never know what will happen with neighbors like that. How very scary. Would make it very hard to me to relax. Hope you'll be able to find somewhere better soon. And I voted for your email!!! Hugsies!